“Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” – I Corinthians 13:6 (NIV)
Before we dive into our topic for today, I’m going to review the subjects of our first two posts about biblical love:
Feelings, Acceptance & Truth
“If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing.
3If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.
4Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.”
I Cor. 13:2-8 (NLT)
Click here to see NIV and ESV.
It’s obvious: biblical love is not all about feelings.
Start with verse 4, “Love is patient and kind.”
If love were merely or primarily a feeling, this sentence would be nonsensical. I know this about humans: we do not always feel patient, and we do not always feel kind. Honestly, I don’t often feel patient or kind. I have to choose to be patient; I have to choose to be kind. These choices are most often made in direct opposition to my feelings.
But what about love as acceptance?
| acceptance: | 3. agreement with or belief in an idea, opinion, or explanation; 3.1 willingness to tolerate a difficult or unpleasant situation. |
“Acceptance is patient and kind” — yes, we could probably make that work with definition 3.1, but would it work that way in all of verses 4-6?
“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
You might be able to make a case for love as acceptance with v.4-5, but look closely at verse 6. Does acceptance rejoice whenever the truth wins out? That depends on how we define truth!
Objective Truth vs. Subjective Preference
| objective: | (of a person or their judgment) not influenced by personal feelings or opinions in considering and representing facts |
| truth: | that which is true or in accordance with fact or reality |
| subjective: | based on or influenced by personal feelings, tastes, or opinions |
| preference: | a greater liking for one alternative over another or others |
When our culture talks about acceptance, it means accepting someone’s preferences, even though the language they often use is accepting someone’s “truth.” There is a distinct difference between truth and preference, between objective reality and subjective feelings.
Pecan Pie or Chocolate Pie?
For example, my grandmother used to make pecan pie for dessert. I like pecan pie, but I prefer chocolate pie. But my preference for chocolate pie did not make the pecan pie a chocolate pie. It was still a pecan pie no matter how I felt about it. The objective truth: It was a pecan pie. My subjective preference: I prefer chocolate. The objective truth doesn’t change, but my feelings could, and often do.
My son, Weston, is allergic to pecans. He could look at a pecan pie and say, “That’s not a pecan pie. I can eat that. It looks and smells delicious! I feel like eating a slice,” but no matter what he says, it does not change the reality of the pie: it contains pecans, and if he eats it, it will make him very sick at the least and be life-threatening to him at the worst.
It’s dangerous to ignore the truth in order to spare feelings!
The culture of acceptance tells us to ignore the truth as long as no one’s feelings get hurt. Love rejoices with the truth; loves tells the truth and upholds the truth because the truth is in everyone’s best interest, not just in the interest of someone’s feelings.
Feelings play an important role in our lives, and God gave them to us with good reasons. But because of our sinful nature, not only can our feelings be highly unpredictable and swift to change, they can also deceive us.
A child may want to play in the street, but if a parent loves the child, the parent will not let the child play in the street because of the physical danger involved. The child’s feelings may be hurt for a little while, but at least they are physically safe.
An adult may want to drive under the influence of drugs or alcohol. If a friend loves them, they will not spare the adult’s feelings, but tell them, “no,” and take away his or her keys until the person is sober because of the dangers that come with driving under the influence, as well as the possible legal consequences.
If parents and friends prioritize feelings over physical safety, you could end up with a child playing in the road and a drunk adult driving down that road who are getting what they felt they wanted, but who could both end up dead or seriously injured. There are a lot of things we feel like doing that are not in our own best interest, and often, are to our eventual, if not immediate, physical harm.
Physical harm is bad; eternal harm is worse!
If we keep the truth about sin to ourselves in order not to offend someone’s feelings, we are helping keep separation between them & God.
“Don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot touch your soul. Fear only God, who can destroy both soul and body in hell.”
Jesus in Matthew 10:28 (NLT)
Love & Truth
Love is not merely a feeling.
It is not acceptance of a lie that feels good.
Love rejoices with the truth.
The truth is, we…
- are all sinners whose feelings cannot be trusted: “for everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard,” (Romans 3:23).
- cannot save ourselves from our sins, “for no one can be made right with God by doing what the law commands. The law simply shows us how sinful we are,” (Rom. 3:20).
- cannot get good with God by following our feelings, for “all of us used to live that way, following the passionate desires and inclinations of our sinful nature. By our very nature we were subject to God’s anger, just like everyone else,” (Eph. 2:3).
“But God is so rich in mercy, and He LOVED US so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, He gave us life when He raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!).”
Ephesians 2:4-5 (NLT)
The truth is…
“We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is TRUE for everyone who believes, no matter who we are.”
Romans 3:22 (NLT)
Love God. Love people.
Loving God is not having mushy feelings toward Him.
Loving people is not accepting everything they want and feel in order to avoid hurting their feelings.
LOVE is choosing to do what is right based on the TRUTH of God’s Word. More about that in our next post.
