Taking My Own Advice
The following is from a journal entry I wrote yesterday.
I confess I am in a depressed funk. I am going to read my blog post from last night and try taking my own advice.
Love Quick Check [from Day 26]
I confess I have been both impatient & unkind to others today.
What may have prompted my impatience & unkindness?
Proverbs 14:29: “Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.”
- Instead of being understanding, I displayed folly.
Proverbs 15:18: “A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.”
- Instead of being a calming presence, I stirred up conflict.
Proverbs 19:11: “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.”
- I did not choose wisdom.
- Instead of overlooking an offense (either real or imagined), I let myself be offended.
Ecclesiastes 7:8-9: “The end of a matter is better than its beginning, & patience is better than pride. Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.”
- I chose pride over patience.
Psalm 37:7-8: “Be still before the Lord & wait patiently for Him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger & turn from wrath; do not fret — it only leads to evil.”
- I am prone to anger & impatience when I have been fretting about something instead of giving that something over to the Lord, being still before Him & waiting for Him to work it out.
Even though I often assume that thinking through what I’ve done wrong would probably deepen my depression, it turns out that confessing the above helped me declutter my heart of some of the lies that were trying to gain ground there.
Praying from a Cluttered Heart Can Help Declutter the Heart
Before journaling the above yesterday, I wrote out a prayer. I’ll skip over some of the specifics, but you’ll get the main idea.
Father God,
I am struggling… I start focusing on everything I think [others] think is wrong with me, my house, my life, etc. I feel ashamed. I feel misunderstood. I feel like the failure child who will never measure up. I don’t blame [others]; it’s my fault.
Now I’ve cried in front of my kids, I’m in “depression mode,” I’ve done a little cleaning up & straightening of the house, I’ve entertained many negative thoughts, questioned myself, tried to turn to the positive, thought about giving up & quitting everything…
DID I MENTION THAT I’M STRUGGLING???
Dear Jesus, Help!
This prayer did not immediately clean all the gunk out of my heart or stop all the tears or change my depressed mood into lightheartedness; however, again, there was something about confessing the truth that paved the way for healing and kept me from going further into a downward mental and emotional spiral.
The Discipline of Bible Reading Yields Unexpected Blessings
I told my sister earlier today that my best decision yesterday was to catch up on my Bible plan reading last night after everyone else in my house had gone to bed.
[As I mentioned in a previous post, this year I’m part of a chronological read-the-Bible-in-a-year plan, The Bible Recap on YouVersion, with a wonderful, faithful, encouraging group of ladies from my church.]
I was three days behind (which has become the norm since remote learning started back in August). Of all things, Ezra 4 spoke directly to my heart:
4“Then the peoples around them set out to discourage the people of Judah and make them afraid to go on building [the temple]. 5They bribed officials to work against them and frustrate their plans during the entire reign of Cyrus king of Persia and down to the reign of Darius king of Persia.
6At the beginning of the reign of Xerxes, they lodged an accusation against the people of Judah and Jerusalem…
14‘Now since we are under obligation to the palace and it is not proper for us to see the king dishonored, we are sending this message to inform the king, 15so that a search may be made in the archives of your predecessors. In these records you will find that this city is a rebellious city, troublesome to kings and provinces, a place with a long history of sedition. That is why this city was destroyed.'”
Ezra 4:4-6, 14-15 (NIV)
Below are the notes I made last night after reading this Scripture.
To DISCOURAGEMENT they added FRUSTRATION, ACCUSATION, & throwing the PAST in their face.
The enemy of our souls still uses those tactics, doesn’t he?!?
Those very battles played out in my own head this morning. Praise Jesus, He talked some sense into me after I spent most of the day in a funk! Now He’s blessed me with this Scripture as another reminder that I’m not alone, and He loves me & is for me, and HIS PLAN ALWAYS PREVAILS!
When you begin a downward spiral, I hope you will consider:
- confessing Biblical truth to yourself;
- pouring out your cluttered heart to God your Heavenly Father;
- continuing in spiritual disciplines (even when you have had a day that gives you the perfect excuse for “me” time).
This is NOT a formula for overcoming a depressed mood.
This IS a true account of God’s work in the life of a woman whose heart gets cluttered up on a regular basis.
TO GOD BE ALL THE GLORY.
GREAT THINGS HE HATH DONE!!!